During my run on this Holy Thursday morning I was noticing all the daffodils alongside my favorite creek and road. I was amazed thinking that some of these bulbs were submerged in inches of water just 2 weeks ago because the creek overflowed from all the snow and rain we have had. In the midst of these thoughts and this beauty, I started to cry. Why? because I have to confess that I have a love/hate relationship with daffodils.
Love – because they are one of the first signs of Spring here in the northeast. Love – because they are pretty, hardy, vibrant, and engaging. Love – because we have hundreds to them in my family’s yard in New Jersey. Love – because my dad loved them and planted every single one in our yard.
Hate – because my father loved them and planted every single one in our yard. Hate – because they remind me of him and every Spring they make me cry my face off when I first see them. Hate – because I want him here to see how beautiful and full of life they are. Hate – because we will never talk about them again – never stand and appreciate how pretty they look – never talk again about where he can plant more for next year.
Here I am – almost 4 years since my dad died – and the life he lived, the life he loved – is still surrounding and embracing my family and me. His faith, his love of his family, his embrace of each day, his love of talking and meeting people – all this is wrapped up in these Spring daffodils. Like those bulbs that were covered in water a few weeks ago, I could have been swallowed up with loss, pain, and sorrow, but my dad would not have wanted that – he would have wanted life and love to win – he would have wanted the toughness and tenacity of these submerged daffodils to bring smiles not tears – life not death – laughter not sorrow. LIFE WINS! Happy Easter!